I have made a discovery about myself that was so profound that I felt it would be a sin not to share. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am obsessed with LOVE. I have spent my entire life trying to understand it. Working hard to rationalize it. Doing my best to convey it. I have failed at it more than I have won… Not that it is a game to be won, but a craft to be perfected. Only problem was I was looking in all the wrong places… in all the wrong people. Not that our interactions were wrong, they actually were part of the process that shapes my understanding. Without them I would have never gotten to where I am today and I LOVE it here.
So in my quest for the great wisdom of LOVE, I encountered some amazing people. I always only wanted to know them and how best to love them. How to make sure that my presence in their life was a benefit and never a burden. How to make each day as wonderful as the last. How to give space and time when required. How to embrace and cherish each moment as treasure. How to let go when the time has come to grow your separate ways. All these things I would never understand if iron didn’t sharpen iron and they strengthened my character. They blessed my life by helping me to gain sight where and when I had no vision. They also helped me to gain strength when I was down and wanted to be out. LOVE… It has saved my soul, strengthened my spirit and gave me the life I have always imagined yet greater.
Only problem was… I was looking in others for what was inside of me the whole time. I didn’t understand how people could act the way they acted towards love at times… How their actions could contradict their words, aspirations and desires. To the contrary, how they could also see themselves greater through the love we shared. Learning that love is a paradox, being both linear and angular. Understanding that the problems I encountered had nothing to do with LOVE, but rather how I perceived or looked at it. Because if you ever noticed when you continuously rub iron together, the more you work out the imperfections the shinier it gets until it reaches a mirror shine and you begin to see yourself reflecting in the other person. You begin to do for them all that you would do for you and giving them that priority as well. You can become so consumed and you begin to love you through them. Instead of loving them the way they need you to love them, you love them the way that you would love you and they get lost in the shuffle.
However, it was all for purpose in each of our lives because we learned and we grew. Not always in the same direction, but in the way we saw our lives going and rather than hinder one another, we left and went on to what life next had for us to get us to where we saw our lives taking us. To the Destiny we saw for ourselves as it were. Some good, some bad, but all necessary. Because they made me who I am and I believe I am made in the image and likeness of my creator and he is LOVE. Therefore I too am LOVE. If I am like LOVE and the image of LOVE, then I must be LOVE. But I couldn’t see it. Not until I was sharpened by the right person who knew how important it was for me to see myself in love and not be clouded by love. The importance of growing in love and patience in love. That love has no pattern. No rhyme or reason, it just is. There is no script, but there is an example. Christ is that example. His life is the tapestry of how we should LOVE one another and heal and help and show one another the way to eternal peace. Not just in the great by and by, but right now.
Through all the trials and tribulations, there I stumbled upon some awesome revelations. The greatest being that what I was seeking on the outside has been on the inside all along. That if I understand and know who I am and embrace myself with the LOVE I was attempting to force on others that the LOVE I have always been looking for would find me. That if I recognize and adore myself that adoration would find me. That if I gratify and appreciate myself that they two would find me as well. So the more I got to know myself and understand myself I grew to LOVE, APPRECIATE, RESPECT and share myself only with people who don’t disturb the PEACE I have found in loving myself. Not saying this in a narcissistic or selfish way, because LOVE gives and takes no care for itself before the needs of others. But you can’t give what you don’t have, so it is imperative that you first possess a LOVE for yourself before you can truly love another. Before you can really APPRECIATE, RESPECT AND LOVE them.
The problem is that it is all a process that we all must go through. Some go through it faster than others but we all find the keys along the way. Depending upon how open we are to LOVE that will determine how far you will go in LOVE and if you will ever become LOVE. Some people have searched so far for something outside of themselves that they have wound up hoping for lives one day in outer space. Most have sought it through the things they possess and the lifestyles they lead. I am grateful and humbled to say I found what I was looking for in the people who I have been blessed to be closest to in LOVE. I grew up because of you. I became a man because of you. I know who I truly am because of you. I know my Destiny and what my Purpose is because of you. You led me every step of the way until you helped me to see my best self. You stayed through the good, the bad and the ugly. While I knew you were there the whole time, I didn’t know how to RESPECT, APPRECIATE, TREASURE AND LOVE you. How to commune with you and how to fellowship with you alone until I was able to see myself and realize that you were teaching me the whole time.
I am not professing to know all there is to know about LOVE. I am not posing as some sort of expert who is trying to convince you that I am going to change your life if you listen to me. But who I am is a man who has been tested by LOVE and here I stand. I have been broken, hurt and left by what the world told me was LOVE. I have cried lakes and rivers over what I was under the illusion was LOVE. I have fought, cursed and denied what I was led to believe was LOVE. Thank God I found LOVE for myself. Both figuratively and literally. I am grateful for the PEACE LOVE shares. I appreciate the way LOVE VALUES and TREASURES moments yet through HOPE has anticipation for greater days while making the most of this day. It takes some a lifetime to reach this understanding of LOVE and I am not saying that I am right, but I have learned to LOVE me and all of the relationships in my life are amazing. Because I learned to LOVE me and now I know what it looks like when someone is truly loving me or trying to play me.
I should have known this all the time, but I was seduced by a world that made LOVE look like so many things that it was actually not and I chased them and tried to capture them all… Sadly, none of them were as fulfilling as learning to LOVE myself the way my creator LOVES me and I would not know that but for the example of Christ I studied for understanding. I am not trying to say what I believe is any more real to you as what I believe, but I know that what I believe and am operating in is working in my life. While you may not see it, I assure you that when you do you will be like he said that and it became so. But I am just sharing because I hope it helps someone find their identity, purpose or destiny. I hope it helps heal some wounds by bringing understanding and wisdom. I hope it helps you to learn to LOVE you and that it is okay. Just don’t forget to LOVE your neighbor as you LOVE yourself. Realizing that you can’t LOVE them perfectly until you learn to LOVE yourself perfectly. Understanding that no one is perfect and you can only do your best. Knowing that if you do your best and give your all honestly, that you did the right thing whether it works out the way you want or not.
When you realize what is inside of you, your life changes forever. You begin to excavate yourself like an ancient burial site finding all sorts of untold and priceless treasure. All sorts of hope and possibilities that you once had that will change your world. I am not in the best situation of my life. I am not where I want to be physically. However, in my heart, mind, spirit and will, I am in the best place I have ever been. My Bible says that as a man thinketh, so is he… Well, I am so prosperous in this moment. I am blessed beyond measure right now. I am healed in my body and in my mind right now. I am the most grateful I have ever been in my life. I cherish and appreciate every moment more than ever. My LOVE for myself is PERFECT and only getting better everyday. Because I also learned from LOVE that no one is perfect, but we can get better each day and strive for greater success in every area of our lives and be the best people that people ever meet. Leaving lasting impressions and gaining favor because of our pure motives. So I am not telling you to not look outside of you for what you seek, it is only leading you back to you. What I am saying is don’t stay frustrated and angry about what isn’t anymore and embrace what is and who you are. Make the most of today while keeping your eyes on what you are believing for in spite of exterior circumstances and what appears to be denying you the desires of your heart. You will see your DESTINY. You will attain the LIFE you desire. The LOVE you have always known is yours is actually your LOVE for yourself that overflows and blesses others because of your desire to LOVE them as best you can. Thus loving your neighbors as you love yourself..Having been sharpened by the people who have LOVED you the most. Bringing out the best of what has been in you all along. You have become the molten gold that the dross has risen to the top of your pot and been pushed away. You are your best possible self and striving for perfection. Your are honest and true to yourself and that will make it easier to be to others as well. You are LIVING your best life now. Don’t believe me…? Take a look inside of yourself and see if any of what I am saying makes any sense. ~Blessings
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